First on my list is something that I never considered buying until the very last minute before I delivered my baby. In fact, it was another new mom who hadn’t thought of buying it and decided during confinement that she needed it, stat! When she told me about why I would need a changing table, I was sold just on that one reason – backache!

Instead of buying a brand new one, I looked up my favourite bargain blogshop to see if they had some in stock. I was in luck and I purchased a used MyDear changing table for only RM 120! Great value considering a brand new one is selling at RM 299.90! It was missing a bathtub (which I didn’t need, anyway) but everything else was in good condition. Just needed a good wipe down with wet wipes and my trusty Dettol.

Indeed this was a good buy because when I tried changing him on our bed, wahlau-eh, serious backache after! Even David was feeling achey, it wasn’t just me! A real lifesaver!

Check out Baby Barn Items (where I got my changing table from) for great bargains on 2nd hand stuff, OR you may buy this brand new changing table from MyDear. More Lifesaver tips next time!

After using it for about a week, I began to understand the obsession some moms have with these diapers:

• They are easy to use, just like fastening a disposable diaper
• They are easy to wash and quick to dry
• They come in many cute designs and endless colour choices

For the baby:

• It remains dry even after a few wettings (I kept them on for up to 3 hours)
• Comparatively more comfortable than lampin and requires less changing between wettings
• It is kind on the skin
• It’s a fashion statement

Once I started doing research on cloth diapers, little did I know that there are so many brands and makers of cloth diapers! Priced between RM 25 to over RM 100, I decided to try out the more affordable range of cloth diapers. I got 12 sets (with soakers) to begin with, and technically I could go 2 whole days with these (however, we’re still using disposables at night).

The Kasihku Sayangku diapers were the most expensive of the lot, priced at RM 55/each. Sunny Baby cost me RM 30/each and the cheapest in the market so far is Coolababy (selling at RM 25/each). I got 3 from Kasihku Sayangku, 3 from Sunny Baby and the rest from Coolababy to start my cloth-diapering journey. Price difference aside, all 3 brands have similar quality in the material, and performance. Oh, I did notice that the Kasihku Sayangku diapers had a larger cutting compared to Sunny Baby and Coolababy; so I’m keeping them until he can fit them more perfectly.

Although the initial investment may seem like a lot (RM405 in total for my 12 sets) but the long term savings makes great ROI sense. I’m still sticking to Mamy Poko for outings and night time (cos I’m practical like that) but the spending on disposables will definitely be at its minimum with our combination (disposable + reusable) diapering practice.

What about nappy rash you might ask? Zack has never experienced any form of nappy rash with disposables, lampin or cloth diapers…yet. Maybe its the amazing Bepanthen ointment or maybe it’s just a great combination of mixed diapering. I try to alternate lampin with the cloth diapers during the day so his skin isn’t subject to hours of being wrapped up in the warm enclosure of the cloth diaper. As much as the fleece material remains dry at all times, inevitably we live in a hot and humid country so it makes good sense to alternate between the two to allow his skin to breathe a little.

If you’re keen on cloth diapering for your baby, you can buy the cloth diapers I mentioned above from the following e-shops!

• Kasihku Sayangku
• Sunny Baby
• Coolababy

Making a baby doesn’t cost much. It may involve a romantic dinner for two, a bottle of bubbly, a hotel room (for those who don’t want to clean up after a night of messing with chocolate sauce *ahem*) and perhaps even a smokin’ lacey piece of babydoll lingerie. The woman’s egg and the man’s sperm is God-given, so no need to take out your credit card for that purchase; and timing the conception is probably 10% luck, 20% math and 70% God’s work. Still, not much moolah involved in making a baby.

Then, the creepy sounds of the “ka-ching!” begins. First you purchase that cutting edge digital pregnancy test kit (correction, you purchase TWO of those to be double sure). After that, the first consultation with the obgyn commences. I reviewed my receipts from all my check-ups & shopping for baby and boy oh boy–the cost of having a baby begins as soon as that pregnancy test kit says “pregnant”.

Here’s a summary:

• 10 consultations with the obgyn – RM 1,409.05
• Vitamins and supplements – RM 400.00
• Ante-natal class – RM 350.00
• Shopping for baby’s bare necessities – RM 3,670.42

Ka-ching! RM 5,829.47 spent before baby’s arrival.

Then, there’s the cost of delivering baby:

• Cost of delivery with epidural – RM 4,420.75
• Nursery fees – RM 672.75

Ka-ching! RM 5,093.50 spent on baby’s arrival

Now that baby is here, the investments that’s to come would include:

• Insurance & medical plans
• Vaccinations & doctor’s visits
• Diapering, feeding, toiletries, clothing, toys and the list goes on and on and on and on (insert ∞ here)

Simple math shows that having a baby is going to burn a hole in your pocket, but that said, having our lil’ boy brings so much joy to us–it’s something that any sum of money can’t buy. So honey, we’ll just have to be smarter with our spending and savings!

Photo credit – American Dollar 2 by thinkpanama on Flickr

How does one define how rich one is? Some measure with the amount of cash you have, others measure by number of tangible assets or what investments are in your basket, and a certain few may judge based on your personal outlook (from the car you drive to the clothes you wear).

Our society also has a very predictable mindset at how happy you could be if you are rich. Just last week I was following a discussion over the radio, the DJs asked listeners what they’d do if they were suddenly handed RM 1,000,000 cash. Without much surprise, typical answers were:

1. buy a big house
2. go for a holiday
3. purchase a luxury car
4. quit working

Looking at the answers, we can’t help but dream about spending that RM 1 million, or taking that much awaited Safari retreat in Africa, or just plain resigning from that daily grind called “the job”. But what is real wealth? Is that RM 1 million really going to sustain you until the day you leave Earth? Does the measure of richness in the form of assets owned really define your status of wealth? If you drive a Ferrari it means you’re probably pretty high society?

First of all, we have to move away from the traditional mindset of what wealth really is. Yes, inevitably we need to have some form of income to live our lives, to put food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes to cover ourselves. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t aim to advance in our careers, or attempt to look for ways to make more money. The problem is, we become greedy, and we want more. The main reason for this happening is, WE KEEP COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHERS’ WEALTH. Greed in turn means that we are never satisfied with what we have, what enough is and when it is enough!

Last year David bought a book by Ramit Sethi, simply titled “I Will Teach You To Be Rich”. It’s a no-nonsense, straight-in-your-face personal finance book. Honestly, I was quite put off by the title of the book, thinking, “Hey, another get-rich-quick-type-of-book”. To my surprise, Ramit helped me re-align my definition of wealth, and re-organised the way I looked at being rich. Of course, there were some parts of the book that were very US-centric (i.e. taxes, investments) but the rest of the topics discussed are very relevant, regardless if you’re in Timbuktu. Using the book as a guide, I had re-constructed my personal finances (streamlining credit cards & bank accounts, decided on investment choices, and revamped my spending budget); I could see clearly what being rich is to me.

So here’s my definition of wealth:

1. Be in as little debt as possible – no credit card debts (yahoo!), really short hire-purchase loan terms (i.e. 5 years rather than 10 years), and flexible home loan terms (loans that allow you to reduce the % interest charged based on a reduction in amount owing)
2. Ability to save 20% of income every month without feeling like you don’t have enough spending money (i.e. you are not reducing your lifestyle to zero). I have an allotted amount of guilt free spending money which I use for shopping, food and entertainment, and really spending it without guilt!
3. Invest 10% of income every month automatically for long term returns.
4. Pay my income tax yearly, responsibly.
5. Review and minimise commitments and eliminate the unnecessary (i.e. review Astro packages, mobile phone plans)

I know I am rich when I can live comfortably without worrying about needing to make more money to maintain the lifestyle I’ve chosen; or indulging in yearly holidays without having to sacrifice something else for it. I know I am rich when I have the minimum amount of debt I’m in (so why dream of having a big house or drive a big car when I can be debt free quicker with what I have now … see the point of having just enough?). I know I’m rich when over the years I’ve extra income that I can grow my investments or save even more!

When we take away our greed factor, take away the comparing attitude, and take away the mentality that wealth means having everything big and great, you’ll find that you enjoy living your life more comfortably and you’re happier with what you have. We need to find that sweet spot of being contented and having enough. We’ll never be rich if we keep growing our commitments every time we have extra income—instead of improving our well being we’re putting ourselves in more debt! So if I had RM 1 million handed to me, I’d go on a holiday, and invest the rest of the money. ‘Nuff said.

P/S: I also enjoyed reading this article, which talks about how money was once the currency of a successful life, wealth is increasingly being measured in connection, sustainability and happiness. Read more about “Finding The Way To A Meaningful Life“

I found this insightful article from Life123  (Life123 is the place to start when you need practical expertise—fast) and the original article is found here. From this article, there were 5 tips on money management for newlyweds, and I picked out some areas on what was helpful for me and Dave when we were having our discussion on how to manage our money.

Set Common Goals
We asked ourselves what we wanted out of our marriage, and what we wanted to achieve (in terms of children, a home, savings plan). This is challenging due to the fact that we grew up in a very different environment and we somewhat also had different personalities, which led to different judgments on the value of money. We had then set an expectation of each other and we found it was less challenging to set common goals thereafter.

Lay It All on the Table
We talked about debt way before the wedding. This was very helpful and it helped us to evaluate what type of property we could purchase, and also what type of wedding we could fund, and still keeping within our financial goals. It also gave us a better understanding of each other’s spending and saving patterns. Let’s just say it’s like an audit into your partner’s financial well being. It may be awkward but is needs to be discussed.

Get Into a Rhythm
For the first 2 months we were pretty scatterbrained on how to budget our income and expenses & if we should record everything that we purchased. What was alarming is that we never really thought about how much household expense could actually amount to, and at the same time we also wanted to fill our home, buy a new TV, and go for holidays. We made pass this one eventually by going through our goals, and setting certain rules on how we spend our moolah. We always stuck to the idea of equality; and decision must be made common ground.

Understand One Another
Dave and I have very different spending habits, and it’s sort of understood that we do reward ourselves once in a while. We maintain our own personal savings (on top of our joint savings) and occasionally we like to buy each other gifts. However, we never expect each other to have to do it, as it was never a pre-requisite when we entered into this marriage. We remind ourselves that our love for each other does not need help from a designer bag or a cool gadget. A marriage is indeed between 2 financially independent persons. We learn from each other when to save or splurge within our financial means.

Don’t Let Money Control You
Ultimately, money isn’t everything. That’s not what God put us here for. We should remember that although we need to manage our money carefully, we must not put it as the most important part of our marriage. We need to be comfortable in each others company knowing that there won’t be nights where you’d worry about paying bills and mortgages. I’d review points 1-4 to review the root of the disagreement and try to come to a solution.

I hope this was useful! For further reading on tips for balancing finances and marriage, click here!