We had our team lunch today at Logenhaus in Taipan USJ. We’ve never been here and the Bosh suggested trying the place out since 1) it sounded German and 2) they sell beer. The place looks kinda shabby, the décor is minimal and it really didn’t give me the impression that we’re gonna get any good food here (plus I did look up some reviews and they were bad. Really bad).

So we sat down and came this old Chinese lady in her 50s, dressed in a white shirt (somewhat like my secondary school short sleeved white shirt), grey hair, glasses resting on the tip of her nose and speaking in Manglish she took our order. For simplicity sake I’m calling her the CMLWTOO (Chinese Menopausal Lady Who Took Our Order)

She went around the table (there was 15 of us) jotting down the orders and during the whole process from taking our order to waiting for the food to be served to after we were done eating, here’s a snippet of the conversations that took place:

- – - – -

Bosh: Can I have orange juice please?

CMLWTOO: We no have orange juice. (which restaurant doesn’t have orange juice?!?!?!)

Bosh: What do you have?

CMLWTOO: Whatever is in the menu is what we have

- – - – -

Me: I’d like the chicken chop. And can I swap rice with fries?

CMLWTOO: Yours come with fries not rice (with a frown on her face)

Me: Oh…ok. Thanks.

- – - – -

Bosh: Can I have the beef burger? And I’d like to swap the veggies with fries.

CMLWTOO: Sorry, we no have fries, only wedges.

Bosh: You don’t have fries?

CMLWTOO: No fries, only wedges.

Me: Wait a minute, you just said my chicken chop comes with fries? Plus in your menu it says fries?

CMLWTOO: Fries is a simple word. That’s why we use that in the menu. But we no have fries. Just wedges.

Me: (in my mind I was about to throw the pepper and salt shaker at this woman)

Bosh: Ok, wedges is fine with me.

- – - – -

Waiter: (serves everyone a bowl of soup of the day, my Bosh gets a bowl but he wasn’t having the lunch set menu so technically he’s not supposed to get 1)

Bosh: Erm, I ordered a ghoulash.

CMLWTOO: Wait, so you still want your ghoulash? Since you drink the soup already?

Bosh PA: He hasn’t touched it!

Me: Can you take it away and bring his goulash please?

CMLWTOO: (walks away with a tu lan face)

- – - – -

Bosh PA: (as she is sipping her guava juice, CMLWTOO appears….)

CMLWTOO: I think you are drinking apple juice.

Bosh PA: No, its guava juice!

CMLWTOO: No, I think you took your friend’s apple juice

Bosh PA: Hello, I know what I’m drinking ok. You didn’t serve the apple juice to my colleague yet.

CMLWTOO:  (sulking and walks away)

- – - – -

Me: Hi, can I have the dessert menu please?

CMLWTOO: Sorry we only have ice cream

Me: OH-KAY. What flavours do u have?

CMLWTOO: Wait (continues to take coffee and tea orders; of which she suddenly cuts in and says) espresso, sarsi, hazelnut.

Bosh PA: What’s the sarsi one?

CMLWTOO: It’s not sarsi, its Stra-see. Chocolate chip and vanilla (I looked this up on the internet and it’s actually Stracciatella)

Bosh PA: Oh, ok espresso for me

- – - – -

I tell you, I was so pissed with this lady. She was rude, had bad table manners, cocky and think we owe her the world!! Honestly speaking, the mains were mediocre (you could eat it, swallow it, but its not mind blowing) and GAWD the nachos were pathetic! Imagine this – corn chips with sliced olives, with melted cheese on top of ONE corn chip AND sprinkled with green pickled wan tan mee chillies. I almost died.

Bosh’s PA later told us that when she made the booking, and she asked for the name of the person she spoke to (which happened to be CMLWTOO) she merely said “I’m the only lady here”. Double U-Tee-Eff !!!

I award this place for having the worst customer service. Please do not visit Logenhaus for the food is pathetic and you don’t want to endure having to deal with the CMLWTOO. ‘Nuff said.