Having been married for a very short 374 days, Dave and I recently had a check-up done on our financial health. We had also reviewed our monthly joint expenses which we had set a year ago, to make sure we’re all on the same page in terms of household spending and financial goals. I did some research on money management for newlyweds (we would still consider ourselves still in the club) and quite a fair bit of what I found was also discussed in our 6 month pre-marital counseling in church. Although some may say “money isn’t everything”, inevitably money issues are one of the key root causes of argument, and in some cases, divorce.

I found this insightful article from Life123  (Life123 is the place to start when you need practical expertise—fast) and the original article is found here. From this article, there were 5 tips on money management for newlyweds, and I picked out some areas on what was helpful for me and Dave when we were having our discussion on how to manage our money.

Set Common Goals
We asked ourselves what we wanted out of our marriage, and what we wanted to achieve (in terms of children, a home, savings plan). This is challenging due to the fact that we grew up in a very different environment and we somewhat also had different personalities, which led to different judgments on the value of money. We had then set an expectation of each other and we found it was less challenging to set common goals thereafter.

Lay It All on the Table
We talked about debt way before the wedding. This was very helpful and it helped us to evaluate what type of property we could purchase, and also what type of wedding we could fund, and still keeping within our financial goals. It also gave us a better understanding of each other’s spending and saving patterns. Let’s just say it’s like an audit into your partner’s financial well being. It may be awkward but is needs to be discussed.

Get Into a Rhythm
For the first 2 months we were pretty scatterbrained on how to budget our income and expenses & if we should record everything that we purchased. What was alarming is that we never really thought about how much household expense could actually amount to, and at the same time we also wanted to fill our home, buy a new TV, and go for holidays. We made pass this one eventually by going through our goals, and setting certain rules on how we spend our moolah. We always stuck to the idea of equality; and decision must be made common ground.

Understand One Another
Dave and I have very different spending habits, and it’s sort of understood that we do reward ourselves once in a while. We maintain our own personal savings (on top of our joint savings) and occasionally we like to buy each other gifts. However, we never expect each other to have to do it, as it was never a pre-requisite when we entered into this marriage. We remind ourselves that our love for each other does not need help from a designer bag or a cool gadget. A marriage is indeed between 2 financially independent persons. We learn from each other when to save or splurge within our financial means.

Don’t Let Money Control You
Ultimately, money isn’t everything. That’s not what God put us here for. We should remember that although we need to manage our money carefully, we must not put it as the most important part of our marriage. We need to be comfortable in each others company knowing that there won’t be nights where you’d worry about paying bills and mortgages. I’d review points 1-4 to review the root of the disagreement and try to come to a solution.

I hope this was useful! For further reading on tips for balancing finances and marriage, click here!